Rising From Grief and Moving Forward

As we approach the school, we see a woman smiling at us in front of a building, we will later learn, known by a simple name - Vildane’s kitchen.

Vildane waves at us from the distance and, as we approach, she puts on a protective mask to greet and welcome us to the establishment where she spends most of her time. Popularly known as Vildane’s kitchen, this cozy little place is a source of tasty home-made meals for students and academic personnel of the Anton Zako Çajupi elementary school.

We are the only guests as the lectures are going on in the premises and as soon as we sit a hearty breakfast of burek, homemade bread, peppers, and tea, is in front of us. We are here to hear her story, one of many, all of them similar and yet very different.

“This kitchenette is a win-win for all. Because we are located within the school yard, children do not need to go out of the premises. We prepare tasty home-made meals which students love, and their parents are happy knowing that what they eat is nutritious. School children are not the only ones who eat here, teachers do as well. Quite often we receive compliments telling us they should send their spouses to learn how to cook such delicious treats” says Vildane with a warm smile.

Her friends and partners in the kitchenette can’t sing enough praises for the equipment they have received. Rifadije Popova and Minire Beka both confirm that their work has become much easier as they do not need to do everything manually. The equipment, provided by UNDP and generously financed by the UK Embassy, has shortened the time they need to prepare the food and enhanced the quality of services they provide.

As praises for their work multiplied so did the calls from associations in other municipalities. Since establishing the cooking services, Vildane and her associates have been travelling across Kosovo to hold trainings on how to prepare food, preserved and pickled vegetables. They also share their experience with others on how to be successful in their efforts and on the steps to be taken during the process.

The only regret they have is that the COVID-19 pandemic has seriously impacted food orders. They proudly mention they have served buffets for various delegations and high-level visits to the municipality as the officials prefer to order food from them rather than engage fancy restaurants. Vildane and her team remain optimistic and are looking forward to better days.

While Rifadije and Minire go back to the kitchen to get ready for the next break between the lectures and a arrival of students, Vildane remembers how slowly her dreams became endeavors, and endeavors became reality to help families who, like her, have lost their loved ones. She was 26, mother to a two-year-old boy and six months pregnant when she lost her husband. He was one of the 587 killed during the 1998-1999 conflict in the municipality of Vushtrri/Vučitrn.  

“It was very hard! For years I struggled emotionally. I had my children and the support of my family. My mother-in-law urged me to start living again. And, eventually, I did. It was in 2008 that some of the family members who lost our loved ones, got together and the association was established.”

Currently, Vildane divides her time between the kitchenette and the office. The work there is just as demanding: “My work in the office is not as creative but not less important. After I finish with the kitchen, where I work from six in the morning until 11, I go to the office. We have a registry with the names of all family members of the killed and missing, and one of my daily tasks is to issue certificates proving that the person in question belongs to one of those families. The certificates are needed for obtaining different licenses in the municipality or other kind of assistance available to them. Frequently I help women who are victims of domestic violence, but I do not mix them with other members. Their pain is current, different. I lend them my office and I listen to them and try to help”.

A shrill ring announces end of class. It also announces the end of our visit as we leave Vildane and her friends to cater to many who crave their food. We leave behind three of many strong women who have endured the loss of their loved ones and found strength to rise above the suffering and prosper.

“We are entering the third phase of the Dealing with Conflict Legacy in Kosovo project. Thanks to the Government of the United Kingdom, UNDP will continue to work with families of victims, local associations, institutions, stakeholders, and international organisations in tackling existing conflict legacy issues and contribute to building sustainable reconciliation,” said Vehbi Selmani, the Project Manager at UNDP in Kosovo.